Creepy Messages Received on Dating Websites

Geplaatst op 03-04-2025

“Okay single peeps, knowing that I might use it in a blog post, what is the creepiest or weirdest thing someone has ever written to you on a dating website or app?” That was the question I asked over on the Single Dad Laughing Facebook wall.

These were your hilariously creepy replies.

And by hilarious, I mean that as a whole they make me laugh. Individually, they really did creep me the heck out. Haha.

So as you approach Valentine’s Day this week, remember… having someone isn’t always worth… well… this.

1. It was all going very well until he asked if I was still breast feeding my youngest daughter, and if so, would I be willing to breast feed him?

2. Damn! You so fine, you make me wanna get a job!

3. Your picture makes me want to tear into your flesh with my teeth.

4. You would be so hot if you would just work out.

5. Would you consider donating your sperm?

6. Can I come around to see you and when I do can you just be wearing heels… Just heels?

7. One day I will collar and own you.

8. I have a foot/trample fetish. Tell me how you would step on my face slowly.

9. How hairy are your arms? Can I pet them?

10. Can you send me some of your used sanitary pads or pantyliners?

11. Do you own a pair of Uggs? I like to cuddle with them. I bet they look HOT on you.

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12. Are you allergic to latex? Because I need to know what kind of condoms to buy.

13. Do you consider pot a drug?

14. Are you Latino, or a cat?

15. Do you have a dog? I have a fantasy about being locked in a dog cage.

16. Are you cool with diaper play (not like little kids)? I think wearing diapers is very sexy.

17. I have a thing about Henry the 8th. So, if we date, I may want to chop your head off!!

18. I’m going to climb through your window at night and kidnap you so I can sell you into sex slavery.

19. You are so beautiful, you remind me of my daughter.

20. Do babies turn you on?

21. Would you mind if I brought my 6 year old son?

22. Him: Did you do anything fun last night? Me: Not really, I fell asleep early. Him: Your light was on until almost 1 am…

23. I just want to take you out and feed you as much as you can eat, then watch you throw it up.

24. Will you drink my blood?

25. Hey I’m Mickey. I’m a cute kitty that’s soft and cuddly. I don’t drink, but I do indulge in a little catnip from time to time. I enjoy chasing mice, eating fancy feast, and sleeping. I dislike fleas and laser pointers. Meow.

26. You’re just so cute when you bite your lip as you type to me… One day when we get a little rough, I will get there watching your lips turn blue and your eyes glazing over.

27. Can I smell your butt?

28. I know we have never met, but I love you, and I shall call you my wife.

29. Yo, you are sexy as hell. Stop eating dairy and milk products and you’ll be even sexier.

30. How big is your closet? I mean, could an adult fit in there?

31. I had a guy tell me that I shouldn’t worry about paying for the bill on our date because earth money had no value where he came from.

32. My favorite person in the world is Jesus Christ. He is with me everywhere, even when I am making love.

33. Four kids? Your body must be trashed!

34. My mom and I are both bisexual.

35. Hey cutie, are you for or against circumcision?

36. Hey, I’m your neighbor below you… You seem nice as far as I can tell from watching you. Maybe we can get together and talk about that call you had the other night, you seemed upset by the sounds of things.

37. Can I take you out for dinner and drinks? You don’t have to talk, I just want to stare at your beautiful face while you eat.

38. Dear unwed witch that shall inherit Hell, it is your duty to beget yourself a husband and love him as God intended. If you are ready to beg forgiveness of your sins and believe yourself worthy, I am ready to hear your confession and we shall discuss marriage.

39. Had a woman ask me right off the bat if her dogs could watch, if we ever hooked up.

40. Girl, you look so good I just want to put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit.

41. I saw u today. I followed u as u shopped n got ur hair done. I like u. I wanted to say hi but decided to MSG u online first. Your profile says u live inside the city but I followed u n u live outside. Ignore my profile pic. It’s of my wife n I. We have 5 kids n r still together but I want to find someone better.

42. I’m a photographer. I think you’re unique and I want to take your pictures at the abandoned train station. You can meet me at my house and we’ll ride together.

43. I would like to meet you face to face, you are so beautiful when you sleep.

44. Hi, my name is Robert but what I prefer to go by, and I am in the process of getting it legally changed, is, The Raven.

45. A guy messaged me that he “wanted to cover my feet and armpits in honey and pretend to be a bear for a week.”

Hahaha.

I told you. Hilarious as a whole. Creepy each one on its own. Now go enjoy the rest of your hopefully non-creepy day.